African Injustice: Young vs Elder

  
  This is the part two. The other reason.

There is a reason why were are told to respect our elders, aside from sanity sake, it is learning purpose. 

  Because as young ones we tend to be easily misled and even though we believe our rebellion is for a cause, we tend to go overboard sometimes.

  There is no crime where there's no law is the same as there's no respect where there's no difference. That's why despite your opposing thoughts and idea on a paper, you ought to deal with utmost care and patience.

  It's either you learn hard or you learn easy. It's a matter of choice.

  

Ranting Of A K-Legged Girl

  All my life I have been teased. I knew for a fact there was a little atom of truth in every insult and the simple truth was that,  unlike most people, my legs weren't straight. I had knock kneed mostly referred to as 'K-leg'.

  Growing up it bothered me a little but being where I am today, I try not to pay attention to it though I admit I do get occasionally upset when I'm the subject of someone's ridicule.

  Having bow leg or K-leg isn't a disability, let's know that for a fact. Not having legs at all is a disability. So if you find yourself in my shoes, try not to beat yourself hard about it, some people have no legs, I can still walk but some people can't.

  Does it stop you from living or chasing your dream? That's a big question and the answer is NO well except you want it to. Despite being bullied about my appearance, after series of tantrums, hating myself and how I looked, I let it go.

  When it comes to my dreams,  I chase it with no reservation, with the totality of my heart. I don't stop until I reach my goal, even if I have to fall a thousand times because somebody thinks perhaps I'm not good enough or I'm slightly disable.

  I have contemplated having surgery in the nearest future but I gave up that thought just as fast as it came. I wasn't going to put my life on a knife just to make a change or succumb to being a victim of surgical carelessness. I'm just going to live my life the way I am regardless of what people think or say about me.

  I have only one life to live and I'm not about to waste it hating on myself,  wishing things were different when I could just live it up to the fullest. So whatever situation you find yourself in, I suggest you do the same.

Avoid Emotionally Unavailable Ex Trying To Come Back

  We all have that one ex that still have a special spot in our heart. It's so sad that most of them are the worst type of people to date in a relationship.

The Emotionally Unavailable
   Such people are very common in relationships, they make you fall in love with their mysterious personality,  you get entranced in their unpredictable ways and before you know it, you are deep in love, no turning back.

  You would be lucky if your relationship lasted months with such people. The beginning of the relationship might be rosy but soon you'll see your spouse drifting, no more regular calls, they get tired easily, they don't even say I love you. Whenever you want to hang out, they are either busy or visiting a family friend. 

  Before you know it, you are asking yourself if you are still in a relationship or not. Truth be told, relationships like this are toxic, you should never feel like you are the only one in love or you are not doing things right. If for nothing,  it's your partner's fault not yours. Then suddenly you find yourself single with a broken heart that might take months or years to heal or who knows you might never fall out of love with them. Just your shit ass luck (forgive my choice of words).

   And the moment you think you are close to getting back on track,  finally got over your ex or you are on the road to and you are finally learning how to be happy again,  they show up like a rat in your closet, you have no idea where they came from.

  My advice run! Run as fast as you can. Avoid keeping contacts, fuck being friends ( again forgive my choice of words) don't bother trying to get closure. Because emotionally unavailable people are quite good at manipulating. They are never sure about their feelings so they toss people about like a baseball, loving you on minute, dumping you the next.

   The moment you look for closure, they instigate a possible reunion and if you are a fool or hopelessly in love, you take the bait and it's like reliving the whole memory again. Only this time,  a part of you is clearly aware that you are being a fool but leaving you the choice to either remain a fool or say "Fuck love I'm done with this bullshit".

  Don't be a fool believing you are the one good enough to change the person. You might be good enough but don't stick around to be played, used and repeatedly dumped.

  Some exes come back just for sex, some come back just to fuck your perfectly good life while some come back the moment they see you have become the person they wanted,  the person you weren't months or years back.

    Why wait to be used as an experiment. You should let yourself be loved and loved right.  Never make it all about sex or money or physical features or whatever. If it doesn't benefit you or change you for the better,  let go and never look back.

  You are too good to be treated like thrash, never settle for less. Never!.

Love Yours: Weight And The Power Of Words

   So after much deliberation,  I decided to write about this. Today I will be talking extensively about weight woes and the power of words.

   Most people don't know aside from the saying the pen is mightier than the sword, there is also something mightier than the pen and that is the WORD/SPEECH, what we say with our mouth.

  Without diverting or losing track, I would say humans fail to realise how much their opinion and words have effect on other people. Some people are strong enough not to show it while some crumble easily at such words. There is a clear difference between a human being and being human. If you are human, you would be careful about the way you talk or say certain sensitive issues to people.

  That being said, I will now talk about  today's major concern. The battle of the weight. Yes the battle of the weight,  this clearly shows that not only fat people struggle but also skinny people. The general conception is that every fat person hates being fat and would love to lose weight, some people think it's their doing from eating excessively,  maybe it's true, maybe it's not. People generally believe thin people lose weight intentionally, nobody cares if that's how they are or even know if they are secretly trying to gain weight or maybe it's some sort of genetic thing or even a sickness, all they care about is labelling them as anoxeric or bulimic.

  I don't know if most people are aware of the word 'Health Anxiety' or if they play close attention to this common disorder called 'depression'.

  A person with health anxiety will fear the littlest thing and therefore the person is always sure that he/she is sick or will fall sick due to a past situation that might have triggered it or depression. Such person is very self conscious and saying things like 'Oh you are so fat' or 'Oh you are so lean now' such words that we assume carries little weight can be so vicious and may affect the perspn negatively, so many things are accompanied with having health anxiety, such patient may suffer severe panic attack and the list goes on.

  Another factor is depression, this is also a strong factor and a two-way thing. A person suffering from depression could have unexplained weight loss or gain weight unexpectedly. Most people tend to ignore depression and that's why most victims are likely to keep to themselves instead of seeking help. Failure to address such cases often leads to tragic ends such as suicide or self harm. As simple as the word may sound,  depression isn't something to take lightly, patients sometimes need people to trust and confide in without the fear of being judge or called crazy.

  The other thing is a fat or thin person who feels repeatedly stigmatised or harrased because of the issue of weight loss or gain tend to suffer from depression. I know from the constant fear of wondering if you are sick or have a chronic illness and general sadness and anxiety all leading to depression,  usually categorised under clinical depression.

Putting all this together, it's safe to say we all need to be careful about the way we talk because it strongly affects others. For example, Telling a child he/she is obese is definitely wrong because such child tend to remember hurtful words even after years passed.  Or if such happens among peers, it is tagged as bully. So as humans,  we need to be careful about the way we talk and how we say things. We might genuinely care about that person but there's always a better approach and way to go about it.

So please always remember to be careful. Your word could save or end a life. Imagine how scary that is, would you rather be a saviour or be troubled by the fact you killed someone with your obnoxious way of speaking. I hope after reading this,  we can improve in our way of speaking and help those who need our help.

And to all those out there suffering from weight gain or weight loss. All I have to say is Love Yourself. Pay little attention to what people say and be happy. If it's something you can change, work towards it with a positive mind without hurting yourself. Remember to live life to the fullest and be happy.

Is School Compulsory?

     Is School compulsory?

  This is undeniably the question most students ask whether out loud or just their inner thought, I don't deny the fact that I ask myself that question all the time.

  So goes the saying "School is not for everybody" Most of you will beg to differ but honestly I'm beginning to think it's true. Most students can't voice out their true thoughts and opinion about school without the fear of being judged or called "lazy" believe me that's another truth.

  Basically creche and primary school wasn't a hassle. The beginning of the problem is high school when reality dawns on us and we begin to get exposed to all sorts. There you will know school is no beans (if you get what I mean), then you will realise aside from coming to school to learn, you will also learn life's greatest lessons.

  High school is where you will meet friends and lose them, you will begin to question who is really on your side and what are you really in school for, let's not talk about the so many distractions. Most of us fall victim to our parents or relative pressure, like them making choices for us, like where we should school or what course we should study and this is really where things begin to fall apart for those independent minds and those with dreams and choices of their own.

  In true fashion, parents think they know best, sometimes they do but honestly most times they don't. They should guide us through and not make choices for us, I don't need to sight an example because this is something we could easily understand and relate to.

  Then in all this mishaps, times flys away and you find yourself within the four walls of college/university. This is the beginning of a great fall for most of us. Do I need to launch into the topic of premature babies in universities or how people in higher places manipulate the system to get unprepared and unqualified students into the university.
   Some people were born NFAs (no offence) but I believe there isn't a single soul without a dream, just that some people's dream don't consist of the four walled prison gate of university so why force them in. People should be able to make their choices on their own especially people old enough to be in the university!  I mean why are you there if you don't even know what you want in life.

  While some people excel in school, some people struggle and I can say it's not really their fault, 20% are either average students or below, 45% are those with dreams trying to balance chasing their dreams and school, 20% are those with dreams without care for school and 15% are those who don't even want to be in school at all or they are just bored sitting at home so they think school is the best place to chill during the day.

  I know most of you will not agree with this calculation but that's just my opinion, human are not meant to see things equally likewise the fact, fingers are not equal.

  The essence of this talk is to ask "Is school really compulsory?" "Are we in school because we want to or because we have to"

  Some people will say you can't be a great person if you don't go to school, it is true just as it is false, some of the great men we have today are without any or little educational background but that also shouldn't give you the right to quit school without aim or plan and think you are going to be the next Bill Gates ( I weep for your future). Bill Gates had a plan, he had the drive and the motivation so did the others. Nothing feels better than standing up and proudly showing off your certificate that you are a literate.

  In the world we find ourselves today, we are faced with the sentimental and judgemental cruelty of the society who thinks high of the literate with worth rather than the half baked rich man. Your money may speak or shut people up but that's when you are around,  behind your back,  they will say all sorts so it's left for you to pick which road you will embark on.

Feel free to drop your comments and opinion.

Waist Shaper My Foot: The Madness In Vogue

   There is something silly in vogue right now and I can't just wrap my head around the fact that it is slowly becoming every woman's desire.

WAIST SHAPERS the latest deception for every man. Now every woman desires to be another Kim Kardashian or Amber Rose ( not me though I'm just praying to God to add a little to my flat buttocks) and they have found a way to achieve such looks by having slimmer waist than their normal waist size. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's not good, feel free to wear a girdle to lose the stomach fat or whatever it does to the body but I think this is far from normal some women are becoming addicted to the obsession of having the 'perfect hour glass shape' (what next are we going to hear about? Foot binding? Now that's when I will know the human race have gone bonkers).

  Just the other day, I was at the salon when I saw a lady (bleaching obviously trying to run from her race) walk in wearing a waist shaper and I was just like wtf (obviously to myself before I leave there with a black eye), so not only are women obsessing over waist shapers, it has also turned into some sort of fashion whereby they wear their waist shapers out, hogwash! I tell you.

  I will have you know that while you are concerned about your outer appearance and trying to look sexy for those sugar daddies and chewy gum chewing high top-wearing boys, you should also think about what it is doing to your inner body.

   This so-called 'waist shapers' are also known as Corsets - first
introduced in 1500s France - restrict your lungs and bowels, causing breathing problems, constipation, bruising, and rib pain or should I go on. While it gives you the perfect look on the outside, it causes harm on the inside because it moves your organs around making them contract (and for the rest go and ask Google).

  Anyway I don't know whether to say make it stop because honestly it's your choice. I don't have a say, I'm not for it neither am I against it but always get your facts about something before trying it. Dassal.

For The Love Of Fashion: Ostentatious Spenders

    Some time last year, I wrote a fashion article for an online website (no need to mention name) and my article wasn't published. I went on to check if I made any grammatical error or said anything that wasn't correct but no though I didn't find anything personally wrong with my article, I found something else, something big enough to make my article get rejected.

  The title of the article was affordable fashion. I wrote about how fashion should be affordable and not necessarily expensive (obviously such article will pour sand sand in somebody's garri) and I vividly remember sighting an example where a certain celeb (Nigerian celeb ofcourse, na dem wey dey always wan feel among) purchased a designer purse for over a million naira and it was just a simple purse I couldn't even call pretty. I further explained why I didn't see such extravagance as necessary, fine it's your money and yes you worked for it but shouldn't you spend or invest it on something better. I understand the need for everybody to want to follow the crowd or live up to the existing trend like we find most Nigerian celebrities living outrageous lives all in the name of wanting to look more than they are or having the need to be like Rihanna and the likes (I just had to use that example, we all know Rihanna is a fashionista).

   There is nothing wrong in spending money on something you like. I will also admit I'm a sucker for designer brands but I'm also very wise about it. I wouldn't purse something ugly with a huge brand name for a really outrageous price when I could easily purchase something cheaper, better and if not times two of that awful product.

It's alright to be extravagant (or maybe it's not) but make it a once in awhile,  I'm pretty sure people who buy things all in the name of designer brands don't often enjoy such product for long.

  Why buy a shoe for half a million naira when in a few months time, it wouldn't fit right, it's all part of fashion madness and the need to belong. Then you find yourself in the midst of people wearing cheaper yet good quality things looking good and you just there in fugly (really ugly) designer brand.

Some people may disagree with me on this but I stand corrected. Feel free to leave your opinions in the comment box below.